It’s been such a difficult time lately. I hope things are beginning to shift into clarity and alignment, and if it’s not yet there- have faith and allow yourself to feel everything.
While reflecting on the fires that are happening in LA, the ongoing war in Gaza, and my own near-death experience, it feels like something has to come from all the destruction. What I am seeing (as many of us are) is the presence of community support. This is what has gotten us through… perhaps all of history. When difficult things happen, people show up in incredible ways.
But, what do you do with the trauma, grief and confusion that has occurred? This lofty concept of “releasing” often get’s thrown around. “Let go of what no longer serves you.” and “You have to release the trauma stored in your body.” What does that even mean??
It’s a similar concept (and energy) to surrendering. People throw that word around, too, but if you don’t understand it you may end up struggling even more. It reminds me of when I was learning how to drive stick shift in my new jungle car. I got a big diesel truck so I could navigate the bumpy dirt roads and stay safe with enough manual power. I wasn’t anticipating purchasing a manual car, as I had never tried driving one. So, when I found out a manual was the only option I had a few days to learn before picking up my 1998 Hyundai Galloper (I call her Black Beauty).
I asked a few guy friends to give me lessons and every one of them would use the term “feather.” I had to “feather the clutch and the gas.” It was so frustrating and when I asked them what that meant they would just repeat it… “You just have to feather it.”
Now, I understand what that means, and through my own struggles I figured out how to describe it in a way that makes sense. Of course, personal application and practice are needed, and yet, someone may still not understand. But, once you get it, you get it. And, that’s what I am going to attempt to do with explaining how to release.
(If you’re on a cliff hanger about the feathering topic: You release the clutch and press the gas in equal measure. You release the clutch 1% and you increase the gas 1%. Release the clutch 5%, increase the gas 5%, and so on, until you’ve fully released the clutch and are only using the gas.)
How to ACTUALLY Release
I suggest you read my post on Radical Validation. This is the “positive” perspective of the same concept. Essentially, everything is seeking validation. Only, when something is fully validated can it find resolution and release.
In order to do this, you will need to cultivate your Observer Mind. My favorite way to do this is with my 3-Minute Meditation. In order to fully and neutrally observe, you must understand the concept of Radical Validation (as mentioned above).
Below, is an outline of a process I call the Cycle of Resolution. When we have something we want to release, it is often because we want to receive something else. We want to be experiencing something other that what is present. You can read more about it in this post on Passive Receiving.
Allow
Let it be
Release
Receive
As you can already see- it takes work. There are basic levels of understanding needed before you can begin releasing. But, I promise you it is worth it. This is a big part of what I do with my mentorship clients- helping them understand the nuances of these energies in their life so they can create incredible transformation. If you are interested in working together, please reach out!
So, once you have these foundational concepts in place there are many incredible modalities to help you with the actual releasing aspect. Use this list any time you need support with ideas:
Mirror Work- A wonderful and accessible practice using a mirror and the radical validation technique. I suggest you sit in front of a mirror, so your body does not get physically tired from standing in front of or holding up a mirror. Set a timer for 3-5 minutes and begin to have a conversation with yourself. Ask questions and answer as honestly and authentically as possible. You are not looking at your skin or features, as we have been trained to do in mirrors. You are seeing yourself, looking into your eyes, as you would a friend or loved one. Be sure to practice neutral observation with every answer you give. You are the one sharing and the one listening, so be sure you create a safe space for yourself to share by listening with openness, grace and understanding.
To Be Magnetic- hypnosis meditation. If you are not a TBM member, I highly recommend it. I have been doing this work for nearly 5 years and it absolutely changed my life. You can use code “TESS” for 15% off. You can try their free Clarity DI to see if it resonates. (DI stands for Deep Imagining and it is a guided meditation).
My Hypno-Somatic Validation technique- This is my unique process combining hypno-therapy practices, somatic experiencing and radical validation. Clients have incredible emotional and energetic shifts with each session. Select the option for a single session on my mentorship page.
Somatic Exercises- The Workout Witch 5 course bundle is great for slowly releasing physical tension by regulating the nervous system, then completing the resolution cycle with integrative movements. This helps you to strengthen your capacity for receiving new information/energy in your life.
Gut Cleanse/Reset- Our microbiome is a huge system controlling emotions, perspective and much more. When you have your internal system in alignment you may be able to release things more easily. I love the OWL Venice detox with their delicious organic bone broths (they have a vegan option, too) and plant-based shakes.
Listening to Music- Use the power of sound to help your emotions flow. If you need to cry, find a song that brings you there and let yourself cry. If you need to rage against the machine, well… find a song to rage with. If you need to explore sexuality/sensuality, find a safe song that will bring forward residual blocks. Stay with the energy for the duration of the song and then let it be enough when the song ends.
Free-flow Journaling- This is explored within the popular book The Artist’s Way, where you are suggested to write 3 full pages, by hand. This process is stream of conscious- using radical validation to write whatever comes through, without editing thoughts or grammar. Once it’s done, it is out and you do not read it again.
Anger Writing- This is a practice shared by my friend Erin Gunzelman. This is a multi-day experience. Use one piece of paper for every person, place, thing, or experience that you are angry with. Write a furious letter to each one, getting out everything you wish you could say. Really let yourself go there, there’s no holding back. Keep writing until you have addressed everyone/thing you hold anger toward. When you’re done, either tape the letters to your wall, or lay them out on a open floor so you can see each one, individually. Leave them there for as long as you can, visually seeing how much space this anger is taking up within your being. Only when you are so tired of seeing these letters in your space and finally feel ready to release them- burn the letters.
These are just a few of the myriad options that are available to you. Try them out and see what works best. You might need different tools for different situations. Allow yourself to explore.
It is important to note that this is a life long process and you are not broken. As you release, more information will come up seeking that same resolution. As you create safety in your body, your body will share more openly with you. You have to trust the full process. Don’t get stuck in releasing, releasing, releasing. You need to enjoy your life, too. Keep learning, experience awe and let yourself be alive.
If you’d like individual support, I am here for you! Explore the details here, fill out the application and we’ll get started! You’re not alone and you don’t have to keep struggling.
Until next time,
Tess
What a gem, full of useful information ~ reading it feels like taking the first step! 🙏🏻💪🏻💫✨